R.I.P. Feet & Inches
Hello, There is no revolution.

I called her adventure. The kind of unplanned excursion that has become synonymous with graduation aka fear, regret, denial. It became all I knew, but it felt like home, and when all the people had turned off their lights, shut their blinds, and crept into the stillness of their beds, I planned and waited and desired. She tasted like the wind; wet with rain, terrified of the sun.

The first Doom Collective tee is here! Site launch June 1st.

Be my Hiroshima

Dear television networks,
If you made it easier for us to view your programs in Canada online, I wouldn't find the need to steal and download your shit. Why not offer it online with advertisements like you do for those god damn Yankees? I want to watch Lost!

This test is frighteningly accurate

ENFP - "Journalist". Uncanny sense of the motivations of others. Life is an exciting drama. 8.1% of total population.

Take Free Myers-Briggs Personality Test

"Our knowledge has made us cynical; our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery, we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness."

Michael Jackson is America

“He was young and talented and hardworking and enthusiastic, and over time success made him move into a house that was too big. He surrounded himself with toys he didn’t need [and became] sexually confused and racially divided. He ended up broke and liquidating all of his assets. Michael Jackson is America.”
- Colin Quinn

Bananas are assholes.

We'd dig through the garbage bins behind the apartment, shuffling through dirty magazines and old newspapers, searching for your lost secrets. I am poison in large doses.

As we got older, love became this thing they only mentioned in fairy tales.

"Relationships don't work the way they do on television and in the movies. Will they? Won't they? And then they finally do, and they're happy forever. Gimme a break. Nine out of ten of them end because they weren't right for each other to begin with, and half of the ones who get married get divorced anyway, and I'm telling you right now, through all this stuff I have not become a cynic. I haven't. Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate covered candies and, y'know, in some cultures, a chicken. You can call me a sucker, I don't care, because I do believe in it. Bottom line is: it's couples who are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but the big difference is they don't let it take them down. One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time. If it's right, and they're real lucky, one of them will say something." - Dr. Cox.

Dear pseudo-celebrity,
Unless you are Rob Dyer, nothing justifies you having your own fan page on Facebook. I don't care what bars you drink at, where you shop, who you know, or how big your dick is. You're internet famous, which in my books, is the same as winning the Miss America pageant. The people are only there watching because they want to say they saw you before you went all Britney.

I want!

See more at Eggman Land.